felt rather assured after a sort of serious talk with her. didn't really feel that way before that due to several uncertainties which i didn't really ask...
i admit that i am a person who thinks quite a lot, to such an extent that pple may say i am indecisive? i dunno. i feel that thinking stuff alone is very important, everyone needs time to rearrange and consolidate his or her thoughts. things can't just be done based on instinct or feel. it is not rational to do this. this is esp applicable to serious decisions.
i have learnt to make decisions only by myself since rather young. i chose my own secondary school, i chose my own jc, i chose my own undergrad course. i have the freedom to choose what i want, but that also gave me pressure in the sense that i am afraid i am making the wrong choices. i took a very long time to decide my undergrad course, Computer Eng. it was a rather big step away from what i had been studying. it was also a very big decision, which my parents had left me to decide on my own. that's why it took so long. luckily, there was a buffer period of 2 years in the army for me to decide slowly.
before school started this semester, i have nv really thought about my future regarding love and family. i sort of procrastinated, thinking that it's still young to think about all these. due to some critisms, some "encouragement", some "motivation", i started to think whether 22 years old was the time. again, i took quite a long time, up to 1 month. of course, there's some catalyst, otherwise, i believe i would take longer. i have come to realise that we cannot think so much for some things, cuz opportunities will just knock and go off. things have to be tried out before u can be certain that they can work out or not. so, i am trying now le. :)
still, i feel rather 不可思议 that a short 1 to 2 months can change so much of my life and perspectives. well, at least this change is good, and i definitely like it a lot. i definitely hope to continue this kind of lifestyle. although i may become busier than before, sometimes things cannot be totally 两全其美. u have to give up some to gain some. this time round, i think i would gain much more than what i have to give up. a drop of CAP may be imminent, but i will try to prevent it from happening. even if it really drops, i believe it would be minimal. i have confidence in my time management skills.
during the past 2 wks, i have come to have new kinds of emotions. feeling of missing someone, feeling of bliss... it's great to continually have new experiences. i hope that i would continue to have new experiences thoughout my whole life. i dun want to feel stagnant or obsolete... it's really bad to stay at the same spot for a long time. 不进则退, one has to really progress in whatever sense...
recess wk is coming to an end. i still have 2 modules to revise. finished revising EE2009, EE2005. now i am doing EE2006, which would be tested on wk 8. i think i will have ample time to revise + practise for this module, which is great. CS2102, i would do it during the weekends, cuz i want some continuity of thoughts before the test on the coming tuesday. actually, i am rather uncertain about this module. the lecturer teaches litte but seems to expect a lot. i think i need to buy his textbook to get a feel of what he expects from us.
from next wk onwards, the CS2102 project and the EE2006 D1 mini-project would start to roll in. it would be a busier schedule. i would have to make better use of my time, so that i can have time for her. even if i dun, i think she would understand, yeah? my best friend said he respected me for my "superman" skills of time management, and i told him sometimes superman is not perfect. but i suppose, i should not let my superman within me fall at this time. it's just not the right time. i will do whatever adjustments to make my superman continue to fly!
all in all, jiayou to everyone and myself for the coming mid-terms. jiayou to everyone in everything u do. 頑張って！加油！
